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Suburban Geek

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Suburban Geek: We Don't Just Want Our Ads To Sell, We Want Them To Entertain You!
We make fun videos promoting them
Maybe you'll like our videos &  tell your friends
We create interesting T-shirt designs
Say goodbye to the hard-sell,
some might makes you cry
some might even make you think
some might make you laugh
Our videos are meant to be enjoyed.
We believe that we're onto something and invite you to investigate us via this PRESS KIT.
The Suburban Geek Press Kit Introduction Video (1.22) 

presented by The Geek's good friend & employee, Clarence.
Suburban Geek Comedy Video Production Services (0.33)

Yes, we're tentatively expanding to take on new clients! Million dollar contracts (or above) will receive a FREE Suburban Geek mug OF YOUR CHOICE!


The Suburban Geek SAMPLER video (0.49)
presented by the late Pablo Picasso

the video features 6 Suburban Geek designs, which should provide you with a fairly good indication of what to expect from the Suburban Geek range.

NOTE: 5 of these designs should have their own individual videos by early 2018.

Suburban Geek's T-shirt Design Ads:
 Ad #2  Suburban Geek Inc.'s new employee spills the beans Ad #3  A father's love - as recalled by President BOGUS POTUS Ad #4  OK, no argument, Force Feeding Fish Milk is weird! Ad #5  Suburban Geek looks at the next US Presidential election Ad #6  A "between jobs" Hollywood exec. declines working for us Ad #7  SEXY Rico, LIVE from DISCO Dungeon Ad #8  A 60s TV look at a Pirate's mid-life crisis Ad #9  Suburban Geek Inc.'s lousy INDUSTRIAL RELATIONS!
                                     PLUS

A selection of our Music Videos, plus

AN INTERVIEW WITH SUBURBAN GEEK, conducted by Clarence, about our future business plans & ideas, including PITCHES for various MEDIA projects &

A HUSTLE for a FILM SCRIPT that the Geek's written

Ad #1   SEXY Rico, LIVE from the DISCO DUNGEON Ad #2  Suburban Geek Inc.'s new employee spills the beans Ad #3  A father's love - as recalled by President BOGUS POTUS Ad #4  OK, no argument, Force Feeding Fish Milk is weird! Ad #5  Suburban Geek looks at the next US Presidential election and beyond Ad #6  A "between jobs" Hollywood exec. declines taking on a PUBLICITY gig, for us

Ad #7  A Public Service Announcement: Don't Trust Bubbles

Ad #8  A 60s TV look at a Pirate's mid-life crisis Ad #9  Suburban Geek Inc.'s lousy INDUSTRIAL RELATIONS!
Ad #3  Where's Eric? (coming soon)

Looking suspiciously like US President Donald Trump, BOGUS POTUS discusses his LOVE for his kids

CLICK THRU TO OUR WEBSITE
NOTE #2: Why a cheetah? (LINK)
NOTE #3: Why Miss Teen USA? (LINK)
NOTE #1: POTUS - an acronym that's become quite popular, lately, denoting The President Of The United States. Interestingly, it was first known to have been used in 1895.
Here are a few NOTES & LINKS to clear up some of the more curious parts of the "Watching" video:
Ad #5  Elected (3.27)

Suburban Geek looks to the next US Presidential election, while gently sending up English TV & Art Historian, the very debonair, Simon Schama

CLICK THRU TO OUR WEBSITE
NOTE #1:  Baby You're A Rich Man is the title of a song from 1967 by Lennon & McCartney. One of the lyrics is: "You keep all your money in a big brown bag" referencing The Beatles' manager, Brian Epstein's preferred method of receiving non-taxed income. Fifty years later, I've used it to infer international money laundering on an industrial scale.
NOTE #2:  The Bilderberg Group is a highly secretive, annual meeting of the world's elite. (LINK)
Here are a couple of NOTES to clear up a couple of unusual phrases that pop up in the Elected video:
Here are a selection of our unashamedly LOW BUDGET music videos.
MUSIC VIDEOS
Music Video #1  I'm The Suburban Geek
Music Video #2 The Return Of Suburban Geek
Music Video #3  Just 3 Guys
Music Video #4  I'm Feelin' SEXY
Music Video #5  Feel The Noose - Occupy Wall Street Music
Music Video #6  One Step Forward - Jamaican "Feel The Noose"
I'm The Suburban Geek (2.26)

A broad introduction to the Geek with GUEST LEAD VOCALS by what sounds like a Canadian Stadium Rock Star!


CLICK THRU for a FREE SONG DOWNLOAD

The Return Of Suburban Geek (3.25)

More autobiography with LEAD VOCALS (and music) by an American Punk Rocker.
CLICK THRU for a FREE SONG DOWNLOAD

Just 3 Guys (2.37)

A slice of Family Life with a look back to the 90s, when the Geek was a Dad with 2 young sons.
As a one-off, we created a TOMORROW: Just 3 Guys video.
CLICK THRU to check it out. (1.23)
CLICK THRU for a FREE SONG DOWNLOAD

I'm Feelin' SEXY (2.41)

Any song that weaves intimate MALE apparel, Evangelical Pandas  & the CIA has to be onto something, right?


CLICK THRU for a FREE SONG DOWNLOAD

Feel The Noose (4.37)

The Geek's attempt to capture the passion of the doomed Occupy Wall Street movement, in spoken-song.
CLICK THRU for a FREE SONG DOWNLOAD

One Step Forward (4.36)

One Step Forward is a re-write of Feel The Noose's lyrics, set to a new tune & then handed over to a Jamaican Dance Hall artist.
He added musical treatments, quasi-religious, lyrical frills and a meserising patois vocal, making One Step Forward a genuinely interesting transformation!

CLICK THRU for a FREE SONG DOWNLOAD

Clarence Interviews Suburban Geek
Clarence:  OK, Boss, can you tell our readers a little bit about yourself?


The Geek:  Ex-TV worker, mostly in background activities - one of those names in the credits that few sane people ever bother to read! I found TV to be a very pleasant factory job and I had to keep myself sane through my hobby of writing - mostly short stories and Black comedy but occasionally, other stuff - and directing or producing a low-budget video once in a while.


Clarence: Anything else?


The Geek:  Not really, I think Suburban Geek speaks for itself. Lots of imagination, color, a fairly competent level of technical ability & most of all, a genuinely unusual sense of fun - even if I say so, myself.  That being said, Suburban Geek is also a cutting edge business.

Print On Demand is not a concept that's well-understood but it IS self-explanatory. The technology to print INDIVIDUALIZED t-shirts has been around for years. However, the results were often sub-standard in relation to large-scale printing runs.

Clarence:  Yes, they were pretty tacky, way back when.


The Geek:   Personalized t-shirts seemed to be worn mostly by schmaltzy couples, doting dads or niche advertising, like a local church group or small business - and they were usually made by a local small business.

With exponential improvements in Printing technology, a new industry is emerging, in which an artist + a website + Social Media (via fans or PAID ads) can access STATE OF THE ART technology, Packaging & Distribution through third party services.

In fact, the distributor that I presently use has 3 fulfillment centers (Printing, Warehouse, Distribution etc.) one each on both coasts of the USA + another in Europe - altogether, a reach of an enormous, 650 million customers, a HUGE percentage of the present ONLINE SHOPPING world.


NOTE 1: The company that I use, presently offers t-shirts, socks, caps, leggings, skirts, posters, framed posters, tote bags, mugs, pillows & iPhone cases.

NOTE 2: The LOCATION of the fulfillment center is EXTREMELY  from the customer's point of view, because, besides SHIPPING COSTS, if the fulfillment center is not in the customer's HOME COUNTRY, their government will probably impose IMPORT DUTIES.

Thus, Suburban Geek, though Australian-based, may not presently be a viable option for Australian customers, because SHIPPING + IMPORT DUTIES really adds up! However, the gossip is that the fulfillment center's NEXT expansion is planned for Australia - so, fingers crossed!






Clarence:  What about other goods, like the KIDS market of toys & dolls?


The Geek:   As far as I can tell, they have no PRESENT plans for expansion into such products but there is an OPTION to have such goods MADE off site & have them delivered to & stored at the fulfillment center (for a FEE, of course). Then, your website customers could order the toys or dolls and the fulfillment center would handle the back end of Packaging & Postage etc,


Clarence:  What if things went CRAZY and a chain like Walmart wanted our stuff?


The Geek:  Well, long term, that's an entirely different matter - Economies of Scale and all that Economics 101 stuff - but in the short term, the fulfillment center could probably arrange e.g. to have 10,000 t-shirts printed by a SPECIALIST printer and then store them at their warehouse(s) or have the goods delivered straight to Walmart.

In other words, I get the impression that they'll do what it takes!


Clarence:  What about expansion into Asian markets, such as China, Japan or South Korea. Potentially, that's WAY bigger than the USA & Europe?


The Geek:  Hmmm, I really don't have any facts on that but my guess is that if a business quickly went global, they would help it expand, for their cut. Pure conjecture on my part, though.


Clarence:  So, do you think Suburban Geek can hit the big time?


The Geek:   Can?
I have no doubt. Certainly as a business model - if the drip-feed of content appeals to the fan-base, anything is possible. Look at Donald Trump's continued popularity with his base, while much of the rest of the world (and the USA) recoils in horror.

I consider the state of online advertising to be fairly grim - in fact with RETARGETING, when ads stalk you from site to site, it can be downright creepy. If Suburban Geek's ENTERTAINMENT advertising found its niche, I genuinely believe that people would look forward to their weekly hit of Suburban Geek silliness, as a breath of fresh air.


Clarence:  Weekly is a big commitment, Boss.


The Geek:  Clarence, at the moment, there's just you and me - so, creating content IS a bit of a hard slog but if we built even a small team, I think that weekly would be entirely feasible.


Clarence:  In the site, we have a number of PITCHES for various media ideas (like the CAT BALLET series in Ad #1, above). What do you want to do with them?


The Geek: In a perfect world, Media companies, like Random House publishers or Disney would go "great idea" and offer us some kind of a deal - maybe even ask us to help develop them.

By the way, you can find ALL of them collected in the PITCHES tag on the left hand side of our site.


CLICK THRU FOR SUBURBAN GEEK'S PITCHES:

Cat Ballet - Children's Books - an idea for kids' books
Elected/The Lives Of American Dolls - a satirical Soap Opera
I'm Feelin' SEXY - a very cool jingle
Red Night - KKK movie idea
Teenage Armageddon - idea for a musical (see: below, too)


Clarence:  So the t-shirts are like ads for these bigger projects?


The Geek:   You could say that - but it wouldn't really be accurate. It's just that OCCASIONALLY I come up with Media ideas and rather than write a script - which can take a couple of years - I develop an image or illustration - maybe even make a video. They are short-hand ways of keeping these idea alive in my mind, if you like...and kinda fun!


Clarence:  Do you have a favorite?


The Geek:  Of the PITCHES listed?

Definitely, The Lives Of American Dolls - it's so kooky! It's really worth checking out, if I say so, myself.

There are a few others that I'd love to mention but I'm holding them back, simply because I'd rather the other PITCHES got some attention, first...





















                   





























                                





Stay tuned - this one's a killer!




Clarence:  So the t-shirts are like ads for these bigger projects?


The Geek:   You could say that - but it wouldn't really be accurate. It's just that OCCASIONALLY I come up with Media ideas and rather than write a script - which can take a couple of years - I develop an image or illustration - maybe even make a video. They are short-hand ways of keeping these idea alive in my mind, if you like...and kinda fun!


Clarence:  Do you have a favorite?


The Geek:  Of the PITCHES listed?


























                                







However, I should also bring some attention to the Teenage Armageddon musical, mentioned in PITCHES, above. I've been working on it, on and off, for a few years, now.  

Clarence and his friends were kind enough to ham it up in a music video for my limp-voiced DEMO version of Zombie Baby, one of the songs from the soundtrack!

Nothing personal, Clarence but think what it could have been like if a BOY BAND with a handsome singer had sung it in a big budget Zombie music video!












                             
                                  
                                
                              


                                 Zombie Baby (3.26)
  





CLICK THRU for a FREE SONG DOWNLOAD

Clarence:  You get me to do the weirdest stuff, Boss.


The Geek:  It's good for the soul, young man. If you pop along to the site, there's even a brief video about Teenage Armageddon's plot + an explanation of where Zombie Baby fits into the narrative.


Clarence:  Final thoughts?


The Geek:  Australia's got a long gambling history and we've got a great saying, here: "You've got to be in it to win it."


Clarence:  Good luck, Boss.


The Geek:  Baby steps, Clarence, Baby steps.



AND FINALLY: SUBURBAN GEEK'S BIG-HEADED, HOLLYWOOD HUSTLE:


Since you've got this far, it would be remiss of me not to use this opportunity to cast my always-optimistic net! I've written the full script for an EPIC, $100+ million musical, that's so detailed, it even contains a few camera directions!

It begins with a young sailor, a crew member on a galleon in the Spanish Armada sailing to invade England in 1588. He is shipwrecked in a storm off the Irish coast but his life is saved by a young Irish girl - a child - and in a brief, mystical moment, the die is cast for 1,000 years.

The Celtic folk song that follows that moment, sets the scene. Here are the introductory lyrics (written by The Geek):


There is a legend from beyond the Olde days
Long before our time
Which tells how True Love is never given
It can only be earned
Not for the faint-hearts or the dreamers
Or those prone to easy tears
Those who would-crave such love must be searching
For one thousand years


As you might expect, the script is then titled, 1000 Years and it weaves Cause & Effect like a who-dun-it, as the two lovers - sometimes with each other, sometimes not - nevertheless, must battle the Cosmos to eventually become one.

Only 3 people outside of my inner circle have read 1,000 Years - they're all small cogs in the Entertainment Industry (a modestly successful Aussie novelist, 2 UK Music Execs etc.) - and all three have RAVED about it.

Two comments stand out:


#1   (FEMALE 30's) "It's an aphrodisiac!" &


#2   my novelist friend (MALE 70s) - who has a habit of attempting to guess plots - loved it, because he was never able to work out what was going to happen next and he eventually gave up trying. He said that he felt "liberated", floating in the unexpected developments of the narrative.


Due to the enormous budget needed to bring 1,000 Years to the screen - and not because of my arrogance - I will ONLY share the script with executives from a major MOVIE studio or recognized agents etc., who have a company email address from such an organization or the Social Media equivalent.


But if you've enjoyed the Suburban Geek videos and are brave enough to take a chance on a shameless hustler, I'll bet - whether you end up liking the script or not - that you will not have read anything like it - 1,000 Years is a trip!